How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationships With Adam Lane Smith
In this episode, Martin was joined by Adam Lane Smith. Through his Attachment Method, Adam has been coaching clients for many years. And he has assisted people from a wide range of backgrounds, including affluent CEOs looking for dating advice and blue-collar families struggling with their marriages. He helps people who trying to improve the quality of their relationships overall, whether they are married, single, or both.
Martin and Adam talked about attachment theory, the four attachment styles, why men need to feel powerful, divorce rate and the most common marriage issues, how men and women respond to therapy, grace period, relationship psychology, and much more.
Continue listening to know more about the four attachment styles and gain knowledge on how to handle problems in a relationship.
“Power is a tool. And that is what men need in order to feel like they are worthy of living. Men need power, the power to change their environment, to change situations for others and take care of them and to end our own pain at times or to overcome our pain or to have a meaning, some sort of power long term to change the world. Men must have that power.” – Adam Smith
Timestamps
0:00 – Introduction.
0:52 – Who is Adam Smith?
2:47 – Learning about attachment theory.
7:20 – The four attachments.
7:57 – Can you be a combination of the four attachments?
9:51 – What makes it hard for Martin to let people in?
10:32 – A rock bottom moment for Martin.
12:21 – What are you in the four attachments?
- 12:25 – Secure attachment.
- 14:20 – Insecure attachment.
- 14:55 – Avoidant attachment.
- 15:26 – Disorganised attachment.
16:04 – Guys with avoidant attachment style.
16:57 – What attachment has the most problems with compatibility in relationships?
20:11 – Adam’s personal experience with attachment styles.
21:42 – What is the divorce rate in Western world and what are the common issues?
26:15 – How did Adam save a relationship?
34:28 – What does the word power mean?
40:12 – How do men and women respond to therapy?
43:35 – The fear of being vulnerable in a relationship.
47:25 – Vulnerability in the right way grows respect.
48:43 – Grace period vs. Solution-focused time.
51:02 – How to deal with open loops?
52:19 – The worst cases of women.
57:33 – Adam’s advice to anyone struggling with attachments.
Resources or Links Mentioned: (books, events, people mentioned - hyperlinked to the specific site)
Connect with Adam Smith: (Social media handles, Website - hyperlinked)
- Website - https://adamlanesmith.com/
- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/
- Tiktok- https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro
- YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam
Connect with Martin Silva: (Social media handles, Website - hyperlinked)